Summertime Sadness

In opposition to popular opinion, summertime is actually my least favourite season. 

(Lana said it perfectly: I've got that summertime, summertime sadness, S-s-summertime, summertime sadness, Got that summertime, summertime sadness, Oh, oh oh oh.)

 I am sure almost no one would agree that summer is sad, other than when its ending. I, on the other hand, am totally ready to embrace autumn and all its chill. Here are my top few reasons why summer is a bummer:

V.  It's a tease
Lets be real, summer was ~the thing to look forward to when we were all in middle school and highschool....but only because there would be no more school. With college having three full months of summer, the tease is even greater -- summertime makes us forget our routines and responsibilities of the year. It makes us feel like we have time. Dont get me wrong, when it comes to be May im ready to read my last books, write my last papers, take my finals and gtfo of the semester, buuuutttt Im the type of person who works well with routine and summer leaves too much time spent wishing i was doing something else.

IV.   The heat
I am 112% not a heat person. This is ofcourse due to growing up in Buffalo, NY, where the weather is the most unpredictable thing in existence. Naturally, this wonderfully obnoxious theme travels into winter as well when it comes to snow, but in the summer its exxxtra annoying. Buffalo gets so so humid in the summer that you cant even enjoy a hot coffee outside on the back porch without sweating to death. The inconsistency of the weather makes it difficult to plan anything outside or in. Buffaloians love the sun and warm weather, but im willing to bet that almost everyone would love it if it never shot above 80 like ever. One day it could be 75 and comfortably breezy and the next 97 and sweltering -- not cool, Buff, not cool. (This is also why i need to visit the west during the summer and experience a place with less humidity)


III.  The fashion
 I am a true autumn-lover when it comes to fashion. There is nothing i love to wear more in the world than tights, boots, scarves, and cardigans--my absolute staples since tenth grade. That being said, i am still such a sucker for maxis, crop bras, and some high-waisited shorts. Is it horrible to say that this kind of got ruined for me this year when it all became what was featured in every store? I have an awful habit of hating things I used to love once everyone else starts liking them, (ie: style, & music.) I like wearing things that people wouldn't normally wear. I can remember vividly around two or three years ago when i went on a thrift store denim shirt / high waisited shorts manic craze, and bought about nine pairs of different shades, naturally getting the weirdest looks for wearing my "mom shorts." (Fast forward to everyone and their grandma wearing their grandmas old shorts / end rant.) Let's just say there were a lot of buttcheeks and girls "doing it wrong," this summer, and i cant wait for them to go back to their ugg boots, so i wont have to worry if we have a similar outfit on. (i sound truly awful, i know)


II.  Friends leaving / Moving away
This summer was especially heart-wrenching because we graduated. This means most of my friends aren't coming back to Buffalo next semester. (thumbs down/sad face) I was always used to my friends coming and going for the breaks of the year, but they still always came back. Its getting to that time in life when friends are spread out everywhere in the state, country, and even world. no me friggen gusta.


I. Not doing enough
For me this is sad but true. One of my favourite Sylvia Plath quotes fits into the disappointment of summer perfectly:

“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited.” 

This quote especially hits home during the summertime because of all the goals and fun activities we plan for ourselves for "once we have time." It happens the same every year:

i.   i become super excited about not having school --> then i miss school.
ii.   i make goals to learn new things and go new places --> most of the time im too hott to leave my air-conditioning.
iii.  i want to relax with whatever friends are home --> we all have such busy and differing work schedules.

The list can go on and on but I realize i sound absolutely pessimistic and awful. What it really comes down to is this: Expectation is the root of all heartache. Summer is placed on such a high pedestal that when it comes to a close, (which it always does quickly,) I begin to reflect back on all the things i didnt do. Im sure this is a character flaw of mine but i cant help but be mad at myself for not doing more. I have a tendency to need to always be doing something "productive." I understand time passing, I understand that hours, days and years can feel like seconds. After all this, i realize that once we take summer off of its high horse, we can learn to actually enjoy the small amount we have with it. And i did enjoy my summer. I was able to travel, see new places, see old friends, go to concerts, lay outside, go out with friends, exercise, eat ice cream, breathe, and feel free. I am thankful for summer, and for all the people and places that made it absolutely lovely. I enjoy the shift of summertime and the wonderful connotations it releases, but it is still low on my list of seasons comparatively. My aim is to begin to see summer in a new light.
 (ill make sure the note this post when its January and 10 degrees below freezing with wind factor.)

But for now, Ta ta Summer, see you next year /& Cheers to Autumn.


xxS